The Friendship of Women

"No soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverance" (George Eliot). I just read my first book of 2007 - a Christmas gift from my best friend - "The Friendship of Women The Hidden Tradition of the Bible" (Joan Chittister). I have many good male friends, and I am grateful for them, but there is something very special about friendships between women. Here's one quote: "Men, very often, conduct their friendships "side-by-side," in shared activities, in project development, in group play, in situations that bring no basic threat to power and demand no emotional vulnerability. Women, on the other hand, shape their relationships "face-to-face," in mutual dependence, in honest conversation, in exposures of personal weaknesses." I am so grateful for friends who can "go deep" with me; for friends I can be vulnerable and honest with. I am grateful for friends who take my pain or anger or self-centredness or deep joy - and accept me and love me without judgement. When I think of good friends, I think of people who have shared life with me - those who have been with me to share laughs and tears; ups and downs; adventures as well as every-day, ordinary life.

This past week I was speaking with my friend Grace. Her family is from Tanzania, and The Salvation Army has just appointed them back to their country. She has decided to leave her 4 kids in Zimbabwe so that they can get a good education (they lost 2 years in their move here, and Grace fears the same thing will happen if they bring them back). As she was talking about leaving her two youngest children in this country, Grace started to cry, and so did I. I was feeling Grace's mother heart. She kept apologizing for crying, but she shouldn't have - it was a beautiful moment of friendship that we could share. I will miss Grace...

Yesterday I went to Agnes' funeral. One of her friends gave a eulogy - talking about how they met in 1972 and had shared so many joys and sorrows. 35 years of stories, phone calls, troubles, jokes, visits... Most of the older women who are our neighbours attended - all walking to the church, crying and mourning together. I was sitting beside Ruth. Ruth is the one who was with Agnes in her final hours. Ruth also lost her daughter when she was just a teenager. Ruth spent much of the service weeping. At times I just let her cry. At times, I just put my arm around her and prayed for her silently.

"With true friends, even water drunk together is sweet enough" (Chinese proverb). With good friends, life is sweet - even if we're only sharing water. With good friends, we can face the darkness with hope. Thank God for good friends!