Holy shame

I’ve just finished reading the Ezra-Nehemiah narratives. Many people avoid the Old Testament like the plague (or at least like falling hail, rampant frogs and festering boils), but if you can get through the strange names (and Adonikam took with him Bigvai, Uthai and Zaccur) and long lists of numbers (the half share was 337,500 sheep, 36,000 cattle and 30,500 donkeys), there’s some great stuff to experience.

Anyway, as I dodged around the name droppings in Ezra 8, I stopped hard in my tracks at verse 22. Ezra is about to return from exile to Jerusalem with King Artaxerxes’ permission and with rich possessions for the Temple. In verse 21, he proclaims a fast, humbles himself before God and asks for a safe journey (lots of bandits and enemies on the way to Jerusalem from Mesopotamia). Then, at verse 22, Ezra tells us that he was ashamed to ask King Artaxerxes for protection because he had already told the king about how God was so great and that He would watch over him. Ezra realizes that if he truly believes God will watch over him, he doesn’t need the king’s soldiers to protect him. And God comes through for Ezra, leading him to Jerusalem safely.

Holy shame. Most of us are familiar with unholy shame, the kind that pushes us into ungodly actions (such as Adam and Eve trying to cover themselves up in the garden). But Ezra is filled with a type of shame that propels him to holiness.

If we’re going to tell people about how great and powerful God is, and how He is so compassionate, gracious and loving, we’ve got to live that out in our own lives. If we truly believe God has a plan for us, why do we make so many decisions without consulting Him? If we truly trust that He will look after us, why do we get so worried and stressed about things?

Let’s get filled with some holy shame and start living out what we’re preaching.