Death

My uncle Jim died last night. He was a funny, quirky great uncle always full of interesting stories and ideas. He will be missed and I'm praying for my auntie Marge today. We were far from Jim when he died, but we were at our own funeral last night. Amai Commissioner Shipe also passed away - a kind, thoughtful, gentle woman who always greeted us with a warm smile. We got a knock on our door just after 8pm, asking us to get dressed and come to the vehicle. I was visiting a friend, so John picked out a duku (bandana) and mutigida (cloth wrap to cover my pants) for me, came to get me and we made our way to the family's house. There was no electricity in that neighbourhood and so we mourned by candlelight. When we got to the house, all of the women were sitting in the living room, on the floor, lining the walls. And we went in and shook hands with everyone. Then John went outside with the men, and I went to the bedroom where Mrs. Shipe was lying peacefully in her bed. She had only been gone about 2 hours. Her husband sat beside her, crying, sometimes moaning, saying things like, "just stand up, my friend" and "I'm me because of you." Of course I was bawling. It was an honour to be in the intimacy of that room. I think personally I would want some "alone time" but that's not the African way. And so we all mourned together. Women came into the bedroom wailing, throwing themselves at the body and saying it was not time; that they had just come for a visit; not to say good-bye. When the undertakers came, we had a little service - singing and prayers - and then they took her away in a bodybag and her husband wailed in the bedroom. She will be buried in a few days. I can't imagine the shock. You go out to get a few medicines for your wife, you stop by friends' on the way home and tell them she's ok - improving, and then you arrive home and find that the love of your life is just... gone. And within an hour your house is full, and you need to start comforting others. Death seems so greedy here... I suppose there will always be light in Heaven; there will always be flowing water, never any hunger... that's a comfort.