Health

Kieran's been mildly sick for a few weeks, but finally seems on the mend. He was just having trouble digesting food, and it was painful to watch him struggle to eat. I can't imagine what it would be like to have a really sick child. It would be exhausting and heart-breaking. A young friend of ours in Zimbabwe died just before Easter. Tawanda was the cutest little boy (his photos are on this blog a few times) and he was always in our home - chatting away, or trying to carry the water can for the garden or telling jokes in Shona. His death is a mystery to us (all we know is he woke up with stomach pains) and it really distressed us. God knows.

The cuzes

We just spent a few days down in Orlando, Florida with Josh and Jenn and their adorable baby Aiden. Kieran loved meeting up with his aunt, uncle and little cousin. Kieran and Aiden are only 2 months apart, and I think they're going to hvae a lot of fun in the future. On our last night there they both stayed awake way past bedtime. I suspect that Kieran (the older cousin) initiated this sleepover plot! He went swimming for the first time and peed all over his face for the first time. Babies are fun.

A week in the life of

On Monday Kieran and I went to a very sad funeral. It was for a mom and son. The son died during childbirth because of complications and a c-section (this freaked me out - I had a c-section) and then the mother died from a blood clot the day she returned from the hospital. Can you imagine!?! They were buried together - her holding him in the coffin. There are 2 sons left behind who could really use your prayers. It was a very sobering moment to be singing "Amazing Grace" on a frigid, windy, snowy day as this coffin was descending into the earth, I was holding onto Kieran's stroller and the family was weeping. I needed a big long Kieran cuddle when we got home.

Wednesday we went to the dentist as a family. Of course Kieran didn't have any teeth to be cleaned, but he was passed around to all the staff and found the colourful toothbrushes interesting to look at.

Yesterday I was singing the national anthem and praying at an awards dinner for a home that supports people who are deaf and blind (did you know there are 15,500 deaf-blind people in Canada? that seems like so many!) I was watching a woman translate for her friend - making signs in her hand (just like Helen Keller's friend did). It amazed me that there could be so many different words and signs in such a small space. The dinner was at the Royal York Hotel and Kieran was the only baby, so he got passed around a lot (I'm so thankful he has my social skills!) During my singing, Jim Flaherty (Minister of Finance and special guest) smiled at me. Ooooooh.

Today we're heading up to Jackson's Point for our church's Easter camp (Passover dinner tonight) and then we leave for Orlando on Saturday. I can't wait to meet my nephew.

Happy Easter everyone!

Kissing time

People often ask me what my daily schedule is like. I don't really have one. I kind of just see how things go. (It's actually kind of freeing to live this way for a time!) There are no set times to do anything, but there are certain elements that are involved in every day. There's story time, eating time, changing time, nap time, bouncing/washing dishes time, watch the fishies time, swing time, gym time, often Tim Hortons time and... my favourite... kissing time! Of course I kiss Kieran all throughout the day, but I also reserve time just for kissing. I lay him on his back and kiss him all over. He always smiles and giggles and squeals, and it's the highlight of my day.

Kieran has discovered his tongue, and is sticking it in and out, in and out with pride. It's very cute. He's also enjoying scratching different surfaces and discovering the different sounds and touches. For 4 nights in a row he's woken up drenched in pee (I feel like I've forgotten the art of diapering - what happened? any tips?) He loves bouncing in the jolly jumper. He's growing and getting cuter continually. Gotta go.. it's kissing time!

It took us all day to eat lunch

Not because it was a huge lunch. But because when you have a baby and you don't have a car, you need to plan. We wanted to meet my friend for lunch downtown at 12, so at 9 I started preparing and we left here around 10. We did catch an excellent art exhibit on the way (in honour of Refugee Rights Day) and then arrived home after 3pm. Sometimes TTC is excellent and accessible. Sometimes streetcar drivers refuse to help you and subway elevators aren't working.

We did meet an interesting man on the subway. He struck up a conversation as soon as we got on. He was in full Blue Jays gear and complimenting the baby. Then he shared that he used to hold his friend's baby, but the last time that he did this (or spoke to his friend) was in 1986. The friend - John - refused to speak to him because he thought the Blue Jays fan was being strange with his wife. "I wonder what that baby girl looks like now. I guess she's a woman. I miss that friend and his family." The gentleman shared (in 4 stops!) that he has a learning disability and a mild form of psychosis. He wonders if he'll ever have a girlfriend. He had one girl that was a friend, but she blocked his number, because she said he was too intense. I felt bad for the guy. He was very friendly and obviously very lonely. He just wants love and acceptance. Would I be his friend? When he mentioned psychosis, he looked at the stroller and said "there's no cure. I just have to live with it." What a lonely life.

Staring

Kieran is 4 months old now. He's a really curious guy (of course I think he's a genius, but even the doctor says he's smart) and is at a stage where he stares - at everyone. He stares at us and at his family members, but also at random strangers on the bus. One lady at Tim Hortons came up to me and told me that I should tell my son that staring is rude. Random. But this is Toronto! The other day two men in our elevator were having a conversation in Urdu and Kieran was just staring at them. Maybe he's picked up the language! It's cute. I'm totally in love with my son and his beautiful, blue, staring eyes.

2 women

We just got back from a great holiday in White Rock and Vancouver, British Columbia and then Drumheller, Alberta. It was cool to see the mountains and the ocean and the dinosaurs and hoo doos, but most of all it was cool to spend some time with great people - and to introduce them to Kieran. We got to spend time with 2 amazing women who have a huge influence on my life - Nana and Anita.

Nana is my grandmother (my mom's mom). She is an amazing woman of 85 who has spent her life praying, being kind to others, singing, leading... She is a great communicator who has always kept in touch with us and given us treats and been a big part of lives no matter the distance. We always knew when our phone lines were working again in Zimbabwe, because we would get a call from Nana. It was a delight to see her holding Kieran, and he did an amazing race of "almost" crawling, just to end up in her arms.

Anita is a beautiful friend who is a bit younger than Nana (!) but also spends her life praying, being kind to others, being an an extrordinary mom, leading The Salvation Army in Drumheller with her husband, cooking yummy food.... She is a joy to talk to and someone who really "gets" me. I am so thankful for her friendship.

Spending time with good people is refreshing. I recommend it. (Oh and do go out and see the mountains/ocean/dinosaurs/hoodoos - they're cool too).

Joy

I am not sure whether or not to blog anymore. Compared to my life in Zimbabwe, life now is so... ordinary and uninteresting. And yet I am more content and at peace than I can ever remember. I expected to love being a mother. I didn't expect to LOVE being a mother. I never get tired of staring at Kieran, or marvelling at him or feeling complete joy when I am with him. Of course I have moments where I cry along with him or feel completely exhausted, but overall, I am just enthralled with our son and so humbled and blessed to be his mom. I love the word Mommy.

Two weeks ago we attended the funeral of a friend. I was determined to feel joyful at this funeral, because I wanted to celebrate my friend's life. But I cried the whole way through. I believe in Heaven, and that the person is in a much better place. I just find it hard to see the kids and people left behind. The funeral reminded me of too much death and loss that I have experienced. And I think the sadness caught me off guard. Kieran Tinashe has brought me so much joy that the sadness was like a slap in the face. To me, Kieran is joy. At the funeral I held him close. When I think of suffering in the world, I hug Kieran and delight in his innocence. When I was visiting with my sister in the Downtown Eastside of Vancouver yesterday and seeing so many people addicted to drugs with empty eyes, I needed to see Kieran too. I recommend holding a baby. In his little short life I have seen people's faces and moods completely change as they hold his little (but growing) body.

God is so good.