Greetings from White Rock, B.C. We have been in British Columbia for a week, and we are here for one more. It's been great to catch up with John's parents, my Nana, my sister, and other loving relatives and friends. We went to Granville Island, and the Vancouver Aquarium and Pike Market in Seattle. And of course, we've been eating a lot. Vancouver is a gorgeous city, and I must admit that for a few minutes we wondered if we'd settled in the wrong Canadian city. Toronto's nice too, but you can't beat the mountains, enormous trees and ocean! I was reflecting on this article on cities that my mom told me about a few weeks ago. Vancouver (where we are now) was ranked #1 city to live in whereas Harare (where were were 2.5 weeks ago) was ranked last. Life is strange...
I'm having a love-hate relationship with sleep. I get tired easily, which makes me want to sleep, but I'm having bad dreams. They are not the nightmares of Zimbabwe, but they're still not pleasant. Usually they are about people (from here) being angry with me or calling me bad names. Maybe part of me is wondering if people are judging us for coming back early (or I'm just judging myself). There was a big story on the news here about two elderly Canadian missionaries in Kenya who were beaten and raped and macheted, but they say they want to stay and continue to show forgiveness and love. They're the "good missionaries" right? The ones who will stay despite anything... so what does that make us? I know that, all things considered, it was good that we came back. But I guess not all of me knows that...
The baby is fine. S/he is starting to kick up a storm, which is pretty cool (another sign convincing John that this child will be a natural runner). I bought my first maternity clothes on Saturday. The pants have this elastic band that gives you 4 months to grow (John asked if there was a men's section). With everything I tried on, I'd ask John "does this make me look too big?" and he'd respond "of course not - you look beautiful!" I did trick him at one point, putting in the "fake belly" that was in the change room. When he still said I didn't look big, I wondered about his sincerity at the other comments... :) I've put on 15 lbs already, but everyone says I'm still small...
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5 comments:
Dear heart,
I read that same article about the couple who needed life saving surgery in Nairobi because of the physical and sexual abuse they encountered, and in comparison to your story, it emphasized to me and my husband that it was timely and wise for your expedient extraction. Praise God that your leaders and decision makers were quick and sure about your lives.
But what a heart-wrenching pulling away.
Pregnancy for me was littered with vivid and hugely imaginative dreaming, 1st/2nd/3rd trimesters, each time. It really is a very exclusive experience, these dreams while you are pregnant. They can be terrifyingly realistic, scary and demanding, enough to make you feel like you haven't slept a wink all night.
Do you keep a dream journal? They can tell you a great deal when you look back on them, and discern some patterns (don't eat lemon squares with sardines at 8 p.m.)and sift through some unspoken hopes or fears.
That article, and the several more like it, emphasized that protection was needed, danger was not imaginary but emminent.
Can there possibly be "good missionaries" and "failed missionaries" in these type of community disasters? Can you truly feel that you were lacking in courage? Your circumstances are not trivial, but were increasingly dangerous. You showed amazing bravery, strength, temerity, hope and blessing with each day you lived and loved in Zimbabwe.
And you are not responding exclusively to your danger, but also that of your child who can do absolutely nothing to protect itself. You truly are a magnificent minister of the Gospel of Christ.
l am not sure if we were commanded to retreat in mission whenever we face danger. We have choices regardless of the circumstances,right?
If only you guys could have served in Zim the same way this compassionate and gentle person posted their comment: anonymous, untouchable, without any concern for your wellbeing, let alone that of your child.
What shallow, pious, cowardly criticism! "I am not sure if we were commanded to retreat in mission..." Shame on you, Anonymous! What fight have you fought? What danger did you face? When were you responsible for the life of an unborn baby, who has no choices? You who seem so willing to face danger, will not even leave your name on a comment of a blog... Pah!
Bless you guys. My prayers for your safety are answered in your return to Canada.
Feel free to delete my inflammatory comment at your own discretion. But who could stomach such snide poltoonery?
Peace.
Dear Anonymous,
You're right, we do have choices. That's probably why I will struggle with feelings of failure and cowardice for years to come. I never asked to return to Canada, but I did agree to the request once it came, so I suppose I did retreat from the mission.
Thank you, Anonymous, for your reminder. May we also remember the many other anonymous people in the world (such as Zimbabweans) who live in difficult situations and who do not have the desire or opportunity (such as Rochelle and me) to hop on a plane and escape.
I never met someone named anonymous before, but while living in Zimbabwe I did meet Temptation, Obvious and Nomore. If we did meet before, I apologize for not remembering you.
God bless you,
Johnny
Wow anonymous, way to go on that one. Having never been too Africa or any country remotely like Zim I could never word-bash someone for leaving. I have full respect for both the couple in Kenya and Jon and Rochelle but looking at both situations most first graders could spot the major diffrences.
J/R, having no clue what thoughts went into your decision in Zim I choose not to judge you but will say from all I know of you, you both are quite wise and make everything a matter of prayer.
God bless you both and the new baggette in the oven.
Colin Guthrie
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