Questions

I've been reading a lot this week about integrated mission, human
capacity development, and seeing people in their strengths rather than
weaknesses. I love this stuff. I love the idea of mutual learning and
mutual sharing, and not creating these unbalanced relationships of
givers and recipients. But sometimes ideas are easy to agree with on
paper, and more difficult to live out in real life. We are asked for
money all the time. When walking down the street, we see mothers with
small babies sitting by the road with their longing eyes and thin
faces. In our economy of 80% unemployment, they have found a way to
survive. What's the best way to acknowledge that? When we're getting a
ride in a combi and we stop at a set of lights, we're approached by
street kids who are waiting on the corner (street KIDS, not
teenagers). Last night we were treating ourselves to a pizza and a
child came into the restaurant showing us a receipt for school fees.
Who knows whether it was legit., but could we morally keep eating our
pizza while potentially not helping to send a child to school? Is it
wrong to give if the giving is guilt-induced? Last Saturday morning
someone came to our gate at 6:00am asking for food. He came back at
6:30am wanting money for transport. He came back at 7:00am wanting
more money. We give away a lot of money, because the truth is, we have
it and they don't. But is that crippling them; forcing them to remain
dependent on hand-outs? or is it a way for fellow human beings to
share what they have? Part of me hates the fact that we are
re-enforcing unbalanced relationships. I hate the thought of being the
white saviours, giving crumbs from our table. But would we be better
people if we didn't give? If we kept those crumbs to ourselves? I have
the feeling this will be something we will continually struggle with.
Of course, we should see people in their strengths rather than
weaknesses. But what if they're begging you to look at their weakness?
What if they don't want to spend time talking about their hopes and
dreams, but just want enough money to keep their baby alive? In
Toronto, when homeless men would ask me to spare some change, I would
usually say "sorry" and give them a smile or chat for a few moments.
And most would say "thank you" - thank you for acknowledging them as
human beings. Here, people begging don't like a smile or a chat -
maybe because they don't have the option of going to a soup kitchen or
a shelter if they don't raise enough money in a day. It's survival
mode. People here are incredibly gifted at survival, and I would never
want to hamper that. So, what's the best option? Sorry for those of
you who like answers more than questions...