We're back in Toronto. It all happened really fast. Last Tuesday (the day after I last blogged) it was announced in Zimbabwe that we would be leaving the country. Then we left Thursday afternoon (two days later; the day before the re-run of the election). The Salvation Army in Canada had become quite concerned about our situation in Zimbabwe. Things have definitely changed since March (the election). No longer were we just stressed about not finding food or lack of electricity or water or freedom. All of a sudden there was a widespread campaign of terror, with many, many people being beaten, tortured, killed, forced to attend political meetings and rallies, others being forced to flee their homes, crackdown on all NGOs... the list goes on. The violence started coming into Harare, and to be honest, I wasn't feeling as safe anymore.
The past week has been incredibly rushed, emotional and crazy. We had two days to wrap up our two years and two months in Zimbabwe. It was insane (although I thank God for those two days, because one option being considered was for us to leave straight from South Africa, and then we wouldn't have been able to say good-bye at all). We packed up our little house and had to decide who to give what to. We gave away almost anything, and yet minutes before we left, there were still children and old women looking through our garbage outside to see if there was anything to salvage. I know it was the right decision to go. I know that it's not healthy to be pregnant and constantly stressed about what could happen. But it was so hard to leave. Starting from Tuesday we had a steady stream of visitors in our house - people coming to say good-bye; people coming to say that they understood why we were leaving, but they were just so disappointed. It was beautiful to have so many prayers prayed over us - from old gogos to little kids. The hardest good-byes for me were with my two mothers. They have both experienced a lot of loss in their lives, and our departure was just one more. Thursday many of our friends came out to farewell us at the airport. I was crying by the end, and John thinks my sobbing made our exit past immigration/CIO/customs, etc. nice and easy. But I bawled and totally wanted to turn back. I'm thankful that it was such a long journey home, because it gave us time to adjust to the idea of being in another world.
How do I feel? Physically I feel fine - just a little tired from lack of sleep in the past days and stress. Emotionally I feel all kinds of things. It's good to be home. I feel like eating everything I see and I like the sense of feeling free and safe, and being with family and friends. But to be honest, mainly at this stage I feel like part of my heart is missing, and I'm worried for my family and friends in Zimbabwe. Also, it feels weird to just resume my "old life" when I've had such a "drastic" experience (that has felt more like 10 years than 2). However, we're back, and now we just need to start a new chapter. Right now we don't know what that will look like, but in good time... Of course, thank you to all of those who have prayed for us, and who have prayed for Zimbabwe. Please don't let the prayers stop! They're still so needed.
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5 comments:
Hi John and Rochelle,
I am sorry to hear that you have had to leave Zim. I spend a term there in 1998 - 2000. At that time the land was being taken of the white farmers etc. There were some scary moments then, so as things have been getting worse, I can only imangine what it is like living there now.
All these years latter, after coming back to New Zealand, there is a large part of my life left there in Africa. I had a lot to do with The Salvation Army's work right throughout Africa and I was able to meet a lot of wonderful people.
I will be praying for you as you come to terms with having to return home so quikly.
God bless you both.
Vaughan Rivett
I am still praying...for you, for Zimbabwe, for the world, for peace and for hope.
Whenever I have experienced a great loss in my life, there has always been some idiot to tell me that I shouldn't feel the way I did. Or even worse, they attempt to emotionally colonize my experience.
At the risk of being that idiot, want to exhortyou to take comfort in knowing your coming home was a much an act of obedience as was going there. I you right now to keep dreaming that dream you have dreamt so long. Know that in spite of all the evidence that He is doing more than we could ask or imagine and prayer is the most useful human activity in these and all circumstances..
Have been following the news, and praying for you both, and your families.
Parting from places and people you love is never easy, but God provides and still has great plans for you and your expected child.
May God's Peace and Strength be with you daily
It sounds as if you were given immediate open-heart surgery without anesthesia. You are right, a part of your heart will always remain in that part of the world which God taught you to love.
My head is spinning simply imagining the terror and threat which must have present to make this move a necessity. 2 days, praise God that He was with you every moment.
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